Some Advice for Howard Dean
(via August J. Pollak)
Things Howard Dean can do to look more “presidential”:
- Announce proudly that no president has ever done as much as him for human rights.
- Dress up in a crotch-accentuating flight suit and land a jet on an aircraft carrier.
- Brag repeatedly about a sub-standard college grade point average.
- Get arrested for public rowdiness at a football game.
- Attempt to recite a cliché adage at a press conference and promptly forget how it goes in the middle of saying it.
- Mount, and promptly fall off, an unpowered Segway scooter.
- Drop his dog in front of cameras.
- Consistently mispronounce the word “nuclear.”
- Condescendingly mock the upcoming execution of a death row inmate.
- Trade away Sammy Sosa.
- Choke on pretzel bits to the point of losing balance and bruising his head.
- Attend a public event in which Stevie Wonder is performing and wave to him from the balcony.
OK - the last one is likely a UL…
