I don't want to sound callous. I mean, even if I have nothing to offer, that doesn't matter, because that still doesn't mean that what anybody else has to offer therefore has to be true.
-- Richard Dawkins
Archive of posts filed under the Quotes category.
Quote of the Day
Tax Day
Will you look at those morons? I paid my taxes over a year ago! – Homer J. Simpson
Dutch Christmas
While eight flying reindeer are a hard pill to swallow, our Christmas story remains relatively simple. Santa lives with his wife in a remote polar village and spends one night a year traveling around the world. If you’re bad, he leaves you coal. If you’re good and live in America, he’ll give you just about [...]
Happy Holidays
Christmas is an awfulness that compares favorably with the great London plague and fire of 1665-66. No one escapes the feelings of mortal dejection, inadequacy, frustration, loneliness, guilt and pity. No one escapes feeling used by society, by religion, by friends and relatives, by the utterly artificial responsibilities of extending false greetings, sending banal cards, [...]
Newspapers
They’re part of America’s past, like buggy-whip makers and the middle class. — Stephen Colbert (on the state of newspapers in America)
Lenny White
There’s a lot of music, and a lot of it isn’t that great, like these boy bands where nobody plays an instrument. Well, we play instruments… so I guess that makes us a man band. — Lenny White (more…)
Easter
As all good Christians know, on the third day Jesus emerged from the tomb, appeared before his disciples, squatted and laid a brilliantly colored Easter egg. — Stephen Colbert
HAL’s Birthday
Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it I can sing it for you. — HAL 9000 (2001: A [...]
Bill O’Reilly’s Theology
Like all great theologies, Bill O’Reilly’s can be boiled down to one sentence: there must be a God, because I don’t know how things work.
– Stephen Colbert
Texas Schoolbooks
At some point, Texas schoolbooks are going to be nothing but the Old Testament, a history of the Alamo, and a section on Reagan. — John Cole
