Attention Internet Explorer Users
(via Psychic Plague Panacea)
This Page Crashes Internet Explorer
<Nelson Muntz>
HA-HA!
</Nelson Muntz>
Microsoft Light Bulb Jokes
(via email)
Q:
How many Microsoft tech support people dies it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Four: One to ask “What is the registration number of the light bulb? ” One to ask “Have you tried rebooting it? ” Another to ask “Have you tried reinstalling it? ” And the last one to say “It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine… ”
Q:
How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.
Q:
How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.
Q:
How many Microsoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
We just determine that the room is dark; we don’t actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous test, rest assured that Development is working on a bug fix.
Q:
How many Microsoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days. If you call before 2PM, and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don’t forget to put your name in the upper right hand corner of the light bulb box.
Q:
How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
One. But he’ll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy as it would be for a Mac user.
Q:
How many Microsoft managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to determine what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
Q:
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Q:
How does Bill Gates change a light bulb?
A:
He holds the bulb in place and lets the world revolve around him.
Zune
Zune Is No iPod Killer. It’s a Copycat
In other words, a typical Microsoft product. 
I’ll believe it when I see it
Microsoft Office for Linux ‘inevitable’:
Microsoft will release a version of Office to run on Linux within the "next couple of years", according to the chief executive of the Open Source Development Lab (OSDL).
"They did it once with Apple; they will do it again with Linux," Stuart Cohen said during an interview with vnunet.com at the LinuxWorld conference in San Francicso.
So? OpenOffice.org works for me and I use it on both Linux and Windows.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a Blog
Check out Mr. Ahmadinejad’s blog.
I was curious as to what blogging software the president of the Islamic Republic of Iran would use, so looking at the source:
<HEAD>
<title>يادداشت هاي شخصي احمدي نژاد</title>
<meta content="AhmadiNejad , Ahmadi , Nejad , Mahmood ,
Iran , President" name="keywords">
<meta content="AhmadiNejad , Ahmadi , Nejad , Mahmood ,
Iran , President" name="description">
<meta content="Microsoft Visual Studio .NET 7.1" name="GENERATOR">
<meta content="Visual Basic .NET 7.1" name="CODE_LANGUAGE">
<meta content="JavaScript" name="vs_defaultClientScript">
<meta content="http://schemas.microsoft.com/intellisense/ie5"
name="vs_targetSchema">
<LINK href="http://www.ahmadinejad.ir/themes/mainskins/President/Styles/Panel.css"
rel="stylesheet">
<LINK href="http://www.ahmadinejad.ir/themes/mainskins/President/Styles/Skin.css"
rel="stylesheet">
<LINK href="http://www.ahmadinejad.ir/themes/mainskins/President/Styles/General.css"
rel="stylesheet">
</HEAD>
Almost expecting some sort of open source blogging software, I see Microsoft Visual Studio .NET 7.1, Visual Basic .NET 7.1. and it looks like his web server is running Microsoft-IIS/5.0 (rnc.org’s web server is running Microsoft-IIS/6.0). Wow! Microsoft really is pervasive.
Bill Gates
I’m not a big Bill Gates fan, but I’m pretty sure he’s not the Antichrist.
(more…)Critical Windows 98, Me Flaw
(No Fix for Critical Windows 98, Me Flaw)
Microsoft has encountered a critical vulnerability in Windows 98, 98 SE and Windows Me that it simply cannot fix, the company acknowledged Friday. The flaw affects Windows Explorer and after investigating the issue, Microsoft said it would need to reengineer a significant amount of the operating system.
…
The Redmond company says that because it would need to re-architecture Windows Explorer in those legacy systems to better match Windows 2000, a fix just isn’t feasible. According to the updated bulletin, Microsoft could not ensure that applications written for Windows 9x would continue to operate as intended after the changes.
Moreover, Microsoft has little incentive to expend the resources necessary to patch the flaw. Support for Windows 98, 98 SE and Windows Me ends on July 11, which means no more security updates will be released and no technical or public support will be provided.
<Nelson Muntz>
HA-HA!
</Nelson Muntz>
Windows ‘Fun’
(via wincustomize.com)
Here’s how to do it:
- Open up Notepad (not Wordpad, not Word or any other word processor)
- Type in this sentence exactly (without quotes): “this app can break”
- Save the file to your hard drive.
- Close Notepad
- Open the saved file by double clicking it.
One has to wonder how many more of these “gems” are just waiting to be discovered. Since Windows isn’t open source, we may never know…
Hello, GORRY-O!! I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!
