Two words I never want appearing in a headline with my name: torso murders

1. Cleveland
2. Stockton, California
3. Memphis
4. Detroit
5. Flint, Michigan
6. Miami
7. St. Louis
8. Buffalo
9. Canton, Ohio
10. Chicago
11. Modesto
12. Akron
13. Kansas City
14. Rockford, Illinois
15. Toledo
16. New York
17. Sacramento
18. Youngstown, Ohio
19. Gary, Indiana
20. Philadelphia

I live in the St. Louis metropolitan area and have lived the Cleveland area. I also have ties with Canton and Chicago. Again, where did I go wrong?

(This list is from Forbes, so take it for what it’s worth)

By Joseph Kelly
12/13/2006

The gospel accounts of the Nativity (Matthew 1-2, Luke 1-2) do not say what day Jesus was born. There were attempts to calculate the day, but by the third century Christians realized this was impossible.

So they tried other ways to determine a date for Jesus’ birth:

- Many people believed the world was re-created on the first day of spring (March 25 of the Julian calendar followed in ancient Rome). How appropriate, then, for the world’s redeemer to become incarnate that day!

- Other scholars argued that Jesus became incarnate not at his birth but at his conception. If Jesus was conceived March 25, he would be born nine months later, Dec. 25.

This date didn’t catch on immediately, especially in the Eastern Mediterranean region where people believed Jesus was born Jan. 6. But in the West Dec. 25 had much appeal. Why?

Many Romans venerated the sun, whose birthday was Dec. 25, or a virility god named Mithra with the same birthday. Also, the Romans observed a raucous celebration called Saturnalia Dec. 17-23. Thus, Dec. 25 offered a date with a good theological basis that also would counter several pagan holidays.

Although we don’t know the final steps, in 336 the church at Rome officially observed the “birth day of Christ” Dec. 25. This tradition spread. But what about Jan. 6? The church decided to use that day for Jesus’ manifestation to the whole world, symbolized by the Magi.

The Magi were three kings, Melchior, Caspar and Balthasar, right? Not really. Matthew’s Gospel speaks only of Magi; it doesn’t call them kings, or say they rode camels or give their names.

The early Christians looked to the Old Testament for prophecies relating to Jesus. One prophecy in Isaiah said that foreigners traveling on camels would bring gold and frankincense to the Messiah, while a psalm spoke of kings coming.

Naturally the Christians interpreted the Messiah as Jesus, and the only foreigners who brought him gifts were the Magi. So by the third century we find Christians speaking of the Magi as kings riding camels.

How many Magi were there?

A great Egyptian scholar, Origen, found a Genesis passage in which three pagans honored the Hebrew patriarch Isaac. Origen said the three symbolized the Magi, but didn’t say why.

Names for the Magi do not appear until the sixth century; all are fictional. “Balthasar” may be a corruption of Belteshazzar, a Babylonian king in the Book of Daniel. “Melchior” may be a combination of two Hebrew words for “king” and “light.” And “Caspar” may derive from the name of an Indian king converted by early Christians.

These names first appear in the West in a sixth-century mosaic in the church of St. Apollinaris Nuovo in Ravenna, Italy.

The date for Christmas may have been settled by the fourth century, but legends of the Magi grew throughout the Middle Ages.

—

Joseph Kelly, the chair of the Department of Religious Studies at John Carroll University in Cleveland, Ohio, is the author of The Origins of Christmas.

• The St. Louis Cardinals magic number is 22.
• The Cleveland Indians magic number is 44.

I leave it up to the reader to ponder the cosmic significance of the Indians’ magic number being twice that of the Cardinals’ on this date…

10. Saint Louis
9. Miami
8. Buffalo
7. Detroit
6. Flint, Michigan
5. Modesto, California
4. Cleveland
3. Chicago
2. Memphis
1. Stockton, California

I’m currently living in one of these cities and used to live in another. Where did I go wrong?

Having moved away from the Cleveland area 20 years ago, I thought I’d escaped Michael Stanley and his cult like following, but no, The Michael Stanley Band is performing at a local festival here.

While we’re on the topic of defunct professional sports leagues…

The teams of the WHA:

Teams in bold were absorbed into the NHL.

• Alberta Oilers (1972-79, renamed Edmonton Oilers in 1973)
• Chicago Cougars (1972-75)
• Cincinnati Stingers (1975-79)
• Calgary Broncos (never played) / Cleveland Crusaders (1972-76) / Minnesota Fighting Saints II (1976-77)
• Denver Spurs (1975-76) / Ottawa Civics (1976)
• Dayton Aeros (never played) / Houston Aeros (1972-78)
• Indianapolis Racers (1974-78)
• Los Angeles Sharks (1972-74) / Michigan Stags (1974-75) / Baltimore Blades (1975)
• Minnesota Fighting Saints (1972-76)
• New England Whalers (1972-79)
• New York Raiders (1972-73, renamed New York Golden Blades in 1973) / New Jersey Knights (1973-74) / San Diego Mariners (1974-77)
• Ottawa Nationals (1972-73) / Toronto Toros (1973-76) / Birmingham Bulls (1976-79)
• Miami Screaming Eagles (never played) / Philadelphia Blazers (1972-73) / Vancouver Blazers (1973-75) / Calgary Cowboys (1975-77)
• Phoenix Roadrunners (1974-77)
• San Francisco Sharks (never played) / Quebec Nordiques (1972-79)
• Winnipeg Jets (1972-79)

…I actually went to a few Cleveland Crusaders games.